Affairs – Who Is At Fault?

January 6, 2011 at 1:51 pm | Posted in gender/sexuality, love/relationship/marriage | Leave a comment
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Affairs are never pretty experiences, when they have to be dealt with in the primary relationship. So who is responsible? Who is at fault?

When Is It An Affair?

An affair, by definition, is a dishonest relationship with someone other than the partner you are in primary relationship with. This relationship usually involves strong feelings, affection, sexual desire, lust or love. It is dishonest because it is usually kept a secret, involves lying or deliberately leaving out details about your whereabouts.

Different people will have various definitions of what an affair is, often to justify their actions. If there is something involving a person of the opposite sex (or the gender you are sexually attracted to) that you don’t want your partner to know, then it is very likely to be part of an affair as it does not adhere to your spoken or unspoken couples agreement.

Emotional or physical

Affairs don’t necessarily have to include sex. There is intimacy between two people long before two bodies even touch. You can enter into a cyber or phone affair without even knowing or seeing the person. ‘We didn’t sleep with each other’ is therefore no excuse if you have had strong feelings, flirtations or other connections that involved dishonesty towards your primary partner.

Couples agreement Continue Reading Affairs – Who Is At Fault?…

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After They Cheat – How a Relationship Can Survive an Affair

March 26, 2010 at 9:12 am | Posted in love/relationship/marriage | Leave a comment
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After the Affair...

Affairs can be exciting adventures that can have detrimental effects on the primary relationship, as some readers might well know from previous experience. There is however hope for reconciliation, if both partners do their share of the healing and forgiving.

In my practice I encounter many couples that have been suffering as an effect of an extra-marital affair or another form of ‘breaks in trust’. I am continuously astounded at the resilience couples have shown over the years. This is only partly due to the support I offer them and mainly to their own work and preparedness on dealing with the issue in a way that supports both partners.

Healing emotions

In regards to the past affair, sufficient time for healing Continue Reading After They Cheat – How a Relationship Can Survive an Affair…

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