The Five Love Languages

October 30, 2007 at 2:33 pm | Posted in communication, love/relationship/marriage | Leave a comment
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So what are the 5 Love Languages? Each person feels and shows love in different ways. Let’s see if you recognize yourself and your loved ones by reading the description of the 5 Love Languages.

Click here to read the description of the 5 types. You can rate the article on the bottom of the page, if you wish. Once you’ve read the article you can answer the question below:

1. What is my primary love language?
2. What is my partner’s primary love language?
3. How can I show my partner my love in the way she/he understands the best?

If you’re not sure, ask you partner: ‘What would make you feel loved right now?’
You might choose to start a list with ideas on what makes him/her happy and use the ideas on a daily basis. Watch how your relationship is blossoming!

Words of Affirmation

This person needs acknowledgment for who they are and what they do. They draw heavily on verbal compliments, encouragements and words of appreciation such as ‘thanks for doing…’ , ‘you look good in…’, ‘I really appreciate you doing…’ etc.

Quality Time

This person needs time together. This means having your partner’s undivided attention, e.g. looking at each other and talking, or talking and walking, just the two of you. Just proximity such as watching television is not enough. This person needs to know you can engage in quality conversation where the two of you are sharing experiences, thoughts, feelings and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted environment. It also involves doing things together. This may include any activity e.g. cooking, going to markets, and playing sport – as long as the focus is enjoying being together.

Receiving Gifts

To this person gifts are important symbols of love. What is important is that your partner things of you and makes the effort to translate that into a gift. This also includes yourself and your time, e.g. being in a caring way at significant times or when needed emotionally.

Acts of Service

Nothing means as much to this person as giving and receiving practical support. This includes the myriad of tasks such as cooking, cleaning, walking the dog, working to provide etc. You seek pleasure by serving and express by doing.

Physical Touch

To this person, physical touch is a powerful vehicle for communicating emotional love. This includes a wide range of behaviours from tousling your partner’s hair, a squeeze, a touch, a massage, holding hands, kissing and sexual intercourse. They particularly need touch or holding at times of distress. This person feels most secure in their love when it is expressed physically.

Remember that each language has different dialects. Start to pay attention to the way your loved ones feel most loved and appreciated. Now you have the choice to use that knowledge to make the most important person in you life feel loved…

(Please also refer to the book ‘The five Love Languages’ by Gary Chapman)

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